Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.

I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

I’ve been bitten by a python. It wasn’t a very big one…

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.

We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.