Men are as faithful as their options.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

I'm single because I was born that way.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.

Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.