In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.