You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Sex is an emotion in motion.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.