A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.

The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.

A man of honour should never forget what he is because he sees what others are.

All that spirits desire, spirits attain.

One's only rival is one's own potentialities. One's only failure is failing to live up to one's own possibilities. In this sense, every man can be a king, and must therefore be treated like a king.

Give up trying to make me give up

I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could.

When people talk of the freedom of writing, speaking or thinking I cannot choose but laugh. No such thing ever existed. No such thing now exists; but I hope it will exist. But it must be hundreds of years after you and I shall write and speak no more.

The paranoid is never entirely mistaken.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Reverence does not die with mortals, nor does it perish whether they live or die.

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned.

Domination delegates the physical violence on which it rests to the dominated.

Those who restrain desire do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

Jests that give pains are not jests.

There is not such a cradle of democracy upon the earth as the Free Public Library, this republic of letters, where neither rank, office, nor wealth receives the slightest consideration.

Human decency is not derived from religion. It precedes it.

If one is to be called a liar, one may as well make an effort to deserve the name.

Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.