I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
I'm single because I was born that way.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.