I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.