I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.