As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.