I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
Men are as faithful as their options.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.