Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.

I awoke one morning and found myself famous.

Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I have nothing to declare except my genius.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

I’ve been bitten by a python. It wasn’t a very big one…

I will not join any club who will take me as a member