There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.

I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

If your dog is going to suffer from diarrhea, it will happen between the time the carpet is cleaned for the holidays and the last holiday get-together.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

It’s a terrible thing to appear on television – because people think you actually know what you’re talking about!

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.

No good deed goes unpunished.