A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.

I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.