You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.