A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.