War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
I'm single because I was born that way.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.