I'm single because I was born that way.

He could not see a belt without hitting below it.

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?

I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.

A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.

One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.