All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.