If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.