If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.