It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.