I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.