I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Men are as faithful as their options.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.