Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.