Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.