A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion

Men are as faithful as their options.

I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.

Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

I will not join any club who will take me as a member

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.

There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.