We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!

Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.