And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.