I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.

I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

I will not join any club who will take me as a member

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.

You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

If your dog is going to suffer from diarrhea, it will happen between the time the carpet is cleaned for the holidays and the last holiday get-together.

Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.