You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.