Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
No good deed goes unpunished.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.