I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.