This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.