I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
I’ve been bitten by a python. It wasn’t a very big one…
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.