I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.