Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.