It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.