There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.

A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.

Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.

I’ve been bitten by a python. It wasn’t a very big one…

A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.

We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

Women are made to be loved not understood.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!