I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.