I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.

I'm single because I was born that way.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.

He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.