We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

I've been on a calendar, but never on time.

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.

Women are made to be loved not understood.

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.

I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.