I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?

I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.