My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.