When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.