If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.