Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.