But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.