A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.