An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.

When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.

I will not join any club who will take me as a member

I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.

I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Sex is an emotion in motion.