I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.

What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.

We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.

I will not join any club who will take me as a member

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments