Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.