You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!