Men are as faithful as their options.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.

Humor is the most engaging cowardice.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down

Cynicism is humour in ill health.

Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.

Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.

Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.

I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.