I am not ashamed to confess that I am ignorant of what I do not know.

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that`s OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots.

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.

The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil and no good, nothing but blind pitiless indifference.

You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good thing for the first time.

If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!

As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.

If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

Patriotism is usually stronger than class hatred, and always stronger than internationalism.

Children show me in their playful smiles the divine in everyone.

Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.

Parents wonder why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain.

Moonlight is sculpture.

It is a process of diverting one's scattered forces into one powerful channel.

Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop.

Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.

To find a man's true character, play golf with him.