Any product that needs a manual to work is broken.

There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.

There's nothing in the world so demoralizing as money.

If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'

The thing I lose patience with the most is the clock. Its hands move too fast

All that you accomplish or fail to accomplish with your life is the direct result of your thoughts.

Every man's memory is his private literature.

A lie never lives to be old.

No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris.

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.

It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.

All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire.

A toast, Jedediah, to love on my terms. Those are the only terms anybody ever knows - his own.

A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further than a great idea that inspires no one.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

A moral being is one who is capable of reflecting on his past actions and their motives - of approving of some and disapproving of others

Comedy is acting out optimism.

An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.

When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself.

To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.

Wisely, and slow. They stumble that run fast.